Thursday, July 11, 2013

Black Holes, N'est-ce pas


Some few days ago I was enjoying a new episode of How the Universe Works (Science Channel, check your local listings) that was offering the latest in academic guess work as pertains to black holes. Now don’t hit that “Delete” button yet!  This is not a pseudo-scientific discourse on the origin, nature or importance of black holes.  If, at this point, your finger is still hovering over the “Delete” button because you don’t know what a black hole is, I will explain it in one sentence and then move on to the true subject of this week’s missive.
A black hole is a region of spacetime from which gravity prevents anything, including light, from escaping. (Thank you, Wikipedia)
If you desire more information there exist any number of websites that will meet your need.  But again, the subject of the television show is not the subject or my rant.  The subject of my rant is the total breakdown of societal mores that is plaguing our civilization.
After Mike Rowe (narrator: girls, if you don’t know who this is, look him up… he is dreamy and has a butter-cream smooth voice… er, so I’ve been told) eloquently teased the next segment, the viewing public was treated to a commercial for Trojan “Vibrating Twister” Vibrator Intimate Massagers.  No, I kid you not.  Google it!  I’ll bet you get more websites than you did for “black hole”.
Now quit your snickering. Never mind the obvious unintended (I hope) convergence of deep space phenomenon known as a black “hole” and an instrument designed to “fill” one’s prurient cravings. That in itself is proof enough that our society is on the verge implosion. But this obviously adults-only product was being marketed to the audience of an educational program broadcast on an educational channel!
     “Hey dad, is it okay if I turn on the television?”
     “What are you going to watch, son?”  
     “The Science Channel dad, I’ve got to catch up on my astronomy knowledge.”
     “Go right ahead, son.” Thinking to himself, “What a good boy!”
 Then some time later, “Dad, where did the Trojans get batteries in the sixth century BC?”
I do hope I have not offended any of you with my choice of topic or the graphic descriptions of events as I witnessed them.  But this is just one example, albeit a good one, of the erosion of Americans’ sense of propriety.  Those of you who know me well can aver that I am not a Puritan.  I can share an off-color joke without blushing.  Given the appropriate motivation, I can lay down a blue streak of language that would offend a longshoreman.  Yes, I’ve even patronized the odd Gentlemen’s Club (sorry Mom, I was weak).  These evils, and others I have not explored, have existed as long as men (and women) have had libidos.  But as of late, it seems there is no shame associated with any behavior at all.  If one can imagine it, it’s acceptable (except racial slurs, of course) and free game for public demonstration or conversation.
I remember a day when men, real men, guarded their language in the presence of women and children.  And a father in situ would not hesitate to admonish a nearby offender that certain untoward behavior or language was not appropriate in front of children.  If the offender was not shamed into remedial action, it was quite possible fisticuffs would ensue.  But no longer; today the loose lipped scallywag would become the victim and in all likelihood the protective parent would be incarcerated for assault.  When did the magnetic field of propriety reverse itself and why wasn’t I consulted?
I am a student of history and passingly familiar with the content and intent of the Constitution.  I have read the Federalist! The right to freedom of expression guaranteed in the First Amendment exists to protect political speakers from reprisals by the majority or the government in power.  It was never intended by Messrs Hamilton, Madison, Jay and Morris to open the door for offensive behavior.
But in our confused time, the maxim is, “If you can say it, they must hear it?”  As I grow older, and hopefully wiser, my political leanings are turning more and more libertarian; but not libertine.  While I do not believe it is the role of government to police community behavior, for I find the longer I live the less capable government is of adequately policing anything, I do feel however that society can and must establish a reasonable standard for polite behavior.
This cannot be done using the force of government but must be accomplished through community peer pressure.  While we cannot adjudicate boorish behavior, in the past, those whose behavior offended the community standard were ostracized.
Another example: I have ceased attending films screened in commercial movie houses.  It offends me greatly when some fellow patron feels it is his duty to vocally share opinions on the progress of the film, idea for where to dine after the movie or random thought that mysteriously popped into their seemingly empty cranium.  I will not tolerate it!  It has been my practice to call to the offender’s attention to my unhappiness.  I am surprised at the number of mental deficients who do not comprehend, “Shush!” And when I am moved to elaborate with, “Shut the f*&$ up!, they have the chutzpah to feign offense. I can’t tell you the number of times I have been accused of rude behavior by an effusively chatty neighbor. In my younger days, I would actually physically challenge these miscreants to take subject discussion of polite behavior to the lobby.  No one eve accepted my challenge. But as I age (and not mellow), I have become increasingly concerned that my gantlet will be picked up an I will get my crotchety old ass kicked.  Sorry, Weinstein Company, you’ll have to wait until your blockbuster is released by Netflix to get my dollar.  
And yet another: Parking lots should be pedestrian friendly.  Speed Racer, keep your speed at a level where you can control the outcome of your control inputs.  Remember, speed is distance and distance is time; reaction time.  Keep your fellow citizens safe. And when parking, remember, your car is an excellent example of a parallelogram and as such should fit nicely between the parallel lines of a parking space.  If you think about that for just a minute, you’ll see that this is a system meant to work that way; one car, one space.  If you are driving a Ford F350 truck with duel rear wheels, park in the hinterlands and walk in.  I’m sure the exercise will help with that beer gut problem you’ve been worried about.  And you “Fire Lane” idlers… go find a parking place!
Okay, I don’t want this to get much longer… it would be rude of me to take up more than my fair share of your time bloviating on the current state of politeness.  But consider this: When contemplating your next course of action in any environment; stop, take a breath and look around.  Ask yourself, “How might my actions affect those around me?”  Think about how you would like to be treated and behave accordingly.  And if you can’t think of any way to modify your actions for the general benefit of a more polite society, move to Lakeside with the rest of the dirt people.
Mine is probably an unrealistic expectation.  In a world where community population is counted in millions, the establishment of a universal standard for polite behavior is not likely.  But if we begin teaching our children the niceties of polite society today, demonstrating through our own actions, perhaps in a few generations your great grand children will experience some modicum of civility.
*** 
And this week’s punch line is:  “It is! Wanna buy a toothbrush?”
 

No comments:

Post a Comment