Normally, I would opine on this subject matter during the
All Hallows Eve season, but I saw a movie last night that inspired some thought
on so-called horror movies. From my
lofty perch of intellectual self-aggrandizement, the subject genre is generally
and routinely lacking in that one effect promised by its name, horror. My experience has taught me that the true
horror is that ennui that sets in while the viewer is hoping for a sensational
thrill of the macabre sort. But there
are examples of the art that do engender trepidation and offer up goose-bumps
much to the viewer’s delight.
The movie to which I refer is Deliver Us from Evil (2014 ScreenGems: Director Scott Derrickson). It is of the demonic possession order and stars
Eric Bana as a New York City Police sergeant who finds himself, by virtue of a
series of bizarre case assignments, drawn into the realm of the
supernatural. Dish Network’s movie
rating was only two of four stars but I found it engaging on several
levels. There is Sgt. Sarchie’s (Bana) loss
of faith; the exorcist priest, Father Mendoza (Edger Ramirez ) battling his
personal failings; the victims of the possession, three Marines returned from
deployment in Iraq; and Sarchie’s wife (Olivia Munn) and daughter (Lulu Wilson)
who become targets of the demon. While I
am generally immune to startle shots (…they are way too telegraphed in most
films), I have to humbly admit that among the dozen or so this movie offers,
they righteously got me once. I recommend
you see it if you can find it. But the
point of this missive is much broader: More Best-ees!
Seeing this movie gave me pause to reflect on the horror films
I have experienced and of those which actually instilled a bit of fear into the
experience. So, for your edification and
the further extension of my inexhaustible ego, here are my picks for the best
horror movies (I have seen) of all time in ascending order:
No. 5 – Halloween
(1978 Compass International Pictures, directed by John Carpenter): This treasure of the “B” grade slasher movie
genre is cheesy in every aspect but two; it engages your fear response and you
get to see boobies. Okay, I realize that
second criteria may be a bit skewed to the male audience, but we men have so
few real sanctuaries left. I will not
spoil the end of the movie for those who have not seen it, but the closing
scene makes you think, “I need a bigger gun!” Oh, if your kids read this,
explain to them that a booby is an extinct exotic bird; then you can pass it
off as an educational film as well.
Starring: Donald Pleasance, Jamie Lee Curtis, a hockey mask.
No. 4 – Alien (1979
Twentieth Century Fox, directed by Ridley Scott): Perhaps the most effective countdown movie of
all time, the audience has no idea who among the crew, if any, is going to
survive. There are many clichéd horror
mechanisms within this movie, perhaps the most terrifying is the sheer number
of sequels and one prequel it has engendered.
And even though we knew what the “gut” shot was going to look like, we
kept going back to see each new iteration of the alien that wouldn’t give up.
Starring: Tom Skerrit, Sigourney Weaver, a really ugly monster.
No. 3 – The Shining
(1980 Warner Bros., directed by Stanley Kubrick): There is no inference here,
from the opening credits you know bad things are going to happen fast and
frequently. A frustrated writer, his
demur wife, their big wheeling son (I still get goose bumps when I hear a Big
Wheel on the street) and a haunted hotel; it adds up to a perfect recipe for
terror. An aside: This is a great movie; the book (Stephen
King) is better… and way scarier. In
fact, I will admit (fearful of being labeled a little girl) that when read, the
topiary garden scene (replaced with the hedge maze scene in the movie), had me
so scared I couldn’t get off the couch to go pee for fear of being mauled by a
tree lion. But I digress. Starring: Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, two
of the freakiest twins you’ll ever see, whether they’re there or not!
No. 2 – Invasion of the
Body Snatchers (1956 Allied Artists Pictures, directed by Don Siegel):
Yeah, I know, “What’s so scary about a giant okra pod under your bed?” Well, if you’d ever eaten my Granny’s fried
okra you’d know why I keep a supply of Tums on the nightstand. But under the circumstances of this movie,
you’re hoping for a stomach ache, or anything else to keep you awake. The terror is you go to sleep and wake up
somebody else. Now I have gone to bed
many times not remembering who I am but I’ve always, no matter how thick the
hangover is next morning, known who I was upon awakening. Where I was and how I got there are totally
different issues. Starring Kevin
McCarthy, Dana Wynter, pea pods… really big pea pods.
No. 1 – Dracula (1931
Universal Pictures, directed by Tod Browning): This movie is the granddaddy of
gothic horror films and why not; it is derived from the novel that is the
granddaddy of all gothic novels (Bram Stoker 1897). We are all familiar with the story of Count
Dracula and his thirst for blood. But
what’s a little nibble on the neck between movie goers, especially drive-in
movie goers. No, it is not that scary
and the spin-off product has brought this story to near saturation in pop
culture. But there is a bit of personal
history here that heightens the fear factor.
When I was about six years old, my parents went out for the
evening surrendering my care to a baby sitter.
Of course, this baby sitter completely disregarded my parents’ instructions
regarding bed time (didn’t they all?) and allowed me to stay up and watch Dracula with her… maybe for moral
support. I don’t believe I understood or
retained much of the thesis of the story.
But I did remember that anytime Dracula was in scene, he was wearing
that cape that swayed back and forth energized by whatever wind machine was
lurking out of frame. The swinging cape,
that’s what got me. “Dale, a
lion-hearted lad like yourself spooked by a cape?”
Well it so happens that our neighborhood was populated in
large part by John Birch Society members.
For readers under forty years old, The John Birch Society was a
right-wing, stolidly anti-communist political organization. (If you want more
info, look it up.) I didn’t know much
about them but I do recall that my parents expressed some modicum of distaste
for their movement. One of the
identifiers of the “Birchers” was that they all flew the American Flag at their
homes. While the rest of us would only
display a flag on traditional holidays, these true red, white and blue patriots
displayed it every day. And some, like
our next door neighbors, flew that Star - Spangled Banner at night requiring,
per proper flag etiquette, that it be illuminated by a spot light during hours
of darkness. Well, the spotlight, flag
and my window shades were so positioned in relation to each other that the flag
cast a shadow, a swaying in the on-shore
flow breeze shadow, on my bedroom curtains.
So every night for about two years, I lay in bed waiting for Dracula to
come into my room and suck my blood until I fell asleep from pure watchful
exhaustion. There have been many
aspersions cast upon my emotional and psychological stability over the
years. I proffer that this may have been
one of the contributing factors. Starring:
Bela Lugosi, Helen Chandler, a guy eating bugs.
Enjoy the movies!
...and a S&W 4" Model 19...
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