Too Tightly Wound

So, you’re happy It’s almost Daylight Saving Time.  Are you one of those creatures who like to frolic on the lawn at dusk after a hard day’s work, but wouldn’t be caught outside after dark?  Yeah, I know who you are... and I hate each and every one of you!  “Why,” you ask, “would you hate us for practicing a tradition honored through time en memorium?”  Because “so called” Daylight Saving Time is a sham, a ruse perpetrated on the gullible by maleficent forces seeking to control the behavior of man for nefarious motive.  More on that later, but first, what you do not know about Daylight Saving Time.

The great myth:  Daylight Saving Time was invented by that beloved American philosopher, inventor and national patriarch, Ben Franklin.  This is patently untrue.  The origin of Ben’s association with Daylight Saving Time stems from a 1784 essay he wrote for the Journal of Paris titled “An Economical Project for Diminishing the Cost of Light” in which he jokingly suggested that Parisians could economize candle usage by getting people out of bed earlier in the morning, making use of the natural morning light instead.  He made no mention of resetting time pieces to take advantage of seasonal variances in sunlight.

The first recorded modern use of Daylight Saving Time occurred in Thunder Bay, Ontario (that’s in Canada, dearies… up, look up on the map) in 1908.  Other Canadian communities implemented the practice including Regina, Saskatchewan in 1914 and Winnipeg, Manitoba in 1916.  The first nationwide incorporation of Daylight Saving Time was in 1916 by Germany and its ally Austria-Hungry when clocks were turned ahead on April 30, 1916 to minimize the use of artificial lighting and save fuel for the war effort during World War I.  The idea was quickly adopted by the United Kingdom, France and many other countries.  After all, who would want to fight an enemy that was an hour ahead of you? And the French are sticklers for knowing when it’s time to surrender: “Mon Dieu! It is three o’clock, we must surrender before the British break for tea!” The countries reverted to standard time after the war ended and Daylight Saving Time would not return to Europe until world War II.

Daylight Saving Time was adopted into law as “Fast Time” in the United States (no… of America) in 1918 to support the war effort during World War I.  The initiative was led by Robert Garland, a Pittsburgh industrialist who had encountered the idea in the UK.  Today he is often called the “Father of Daylight Saving”. Yeah, I’ve never heard of him either but that’s what is says in the source I plagiarized for this blog post.  Frankly, I think he should be investigated for child abuse. Only seven months later, the seasonal time change was repealed.

While some municipal jurisdictions continued to practice Daylight Saving Time (e.g., the demographically insignificant cities of Pittsburgh, Boston and New York), a national Daylight Saving Time was not reinstated until February 1942 for World War II.  It was left in place year round until the war ended, reverting back to standard time September 30, 1945.  From 1945 to 1966 there were no uniform rules in the U.S. resulting in widespread confusion, especially for trains, buses, broadcasting and happy hour scheduling.  To smooth the seas for wide spread afternoon drunkenness, the Uniform Time Act of 1966 was enacted into law. This established the familiar April to October adoption of Daylight Saving Time schedule.  However, as with all uniform laws resting on solid foundational logic, states were allowed to exempt themselves.

Due to the overflowing love for America residing in the bosom of the Arab peoples, Congress extended the Daylight Saving Time period to ten months in 1974 and eight months in 1975 in response to the 1973 oil embargo.  The trial period showed a savings of 10,000 barrels each day.  But the extension of Daylight Saving Time was controversial as many complained that dark winter mornings endangered the lives of children traveling to school.  C’mon people, get on board!  It’s easy to make new kids.  But until we discovered fracking, oil was a scarce resource.

The explosion of this myth will really blow your understanding of Daylight Saving Time:  Farmers lobby for Daylight Saving Time as it allows for more time in the fields.  False!  The agriculture industry was deeply opposed to the practice when implemented in 1918.  The farmers performed their tasks based on the sun and natural cycles.  Observing Daylight Saving Time meant the farmers had to wait an extra hour in the morning for dew to evaporate before they could harvest hay.  Hired hands worked less since they left the fields for dinner at the same time.  And cows needed to be milked on their own schedule, regardless of the time indicated on a watch.  Moo!

“But what about all those energy savings?” you ask.  From the very start of the debate, Daylight Saving Time advocates have touted energy conservation as an economic benefit. A U.S. Department of Transportation study in the 1970s concluded that total electricity savings associated with daylight saving time amounted to about one percent (1%) in the spring and fall months.  However, with the ubiquity of air conditioning, more recent studies have found that cost savings on lighting are more than offset by greater cooling costs.

So in light of all of the information indicating that there is no demonstrable economic benefit to Daylight Saving Time, why do we persist in this anachronistic practice?  All you have to do is follow the money.  When we look into the financial records related to lobbying activity in favor of Daylight Saving Time, who is it that sits at the top of the list?  (Insert dramatic ta-da here.) Manufacturers of patio furniture and outdoor grills.  Yes, people, we are being controlled by Big Bar-B-Q!  We’ve been Webber-ed!