Planet X minus one

I am sure that by now you have heard of the “discovery” of a new planet.  I italicize discovery because its use stretches the definition of that word.  No actual empirical or observational evidence exists that there is indeed a planet (using the modern definition of planet which caused the exclusion of Pluto from that sorority) in our solar system beyond Neptune.  And further, this is not new science.  I have been following the discussion for years that a heretofore unrealized planet was out there perturbing the orbit of Neptune.  It was those very observations of Neptunian idiosyncratic behavior which led to the Pluto hypothesis and subsequent observation.  Many astronomers were critical of the assignation of such gravitational influence by Pluto because it was just too small (not enough mass to influence the orbit of a gas giant, eg, Neptune.  They therefore hypothesized that a tenth, much larger planet, was in fact responsible for the observable orbit of Neptune.  They called that theoretical world Planet “X”; for its unknown placement and the roman numeral for ten.  Astronomers always like to add a bit of whimsy into their dissertations in hopes it will help them get laid.  It doesn’t.

Moving along to the twenty-first century, as alluded to above, the scientific community, probably in an attempt to distract us from the fact that the dogma of global warming was coming apart at the seams, invented a new controversy involving the nomenclature of celestial phenomena which resulted in the defrocking of Pluto.  There were two main fallouts associated with this: One was the public outcry at the demotion of their beloved ice ball; the other was the obsolescence of the moniker Planet “X”.  One of the earliest lessons taught me by my father was, “Don’t name the dog that followed you home son, because you can’t keep it anyway.”  Too late, the media has already dubbed this placeholder planet, Planet 9.  Now it only remains to see if Disney Studios will create a new cartoon character as its namesake.

Neptune

“So Dale,” you ask, “How come we can’t see the new planet?”  Well children, the truth is, it’s way, way out there.  The average orbital distance from the Sun to Neptune is 30.1 AU (astronomical unit – approximately 93 million miles, or the distance from the Sun to the Earth).  Planet Nine’s (if indeed it is out there at all) distance at its closest orbital point is 200 AU.  Its orbital period is believed to be 15,000 years, give or take a five millennia.

“But Dale, how do we know this stray won’t be demoted as Pluto was.?”  Well, because it is big; about the same size as Neptune.  While Pluto is just a little bitty runt.  A ball of rock and ice in the Kuyper belt where it seems to be just one of many; some of which appear to be much larger than Pluto.

So there you go kids.  Once again science has proven unequivocally that size matters.  Even if you can’t see it.  Any questions?