Powerball mania is sweeping the globe. People from states that do not participate in
the contest are journeying to those that do.
Persons living outside the country are traveling for the chance to win
the big pot. I am nonplussed. Being a numbers guy, I am too much aware of
the odds involved and so, am unable to generate and enthusiasm for participating.
Add to that my personal history of having never won a contest of any kind that
was based on pure chance, I would rather spend the money on a well-made
burrito. At least then I would know the
true value of my purchase. And that
funny feeling in the pit of my stomach wouldn’t be a response to the realization
that my dreams had been dashed against the rocks of disappointment, but rather
a mild case of indigestion.
And how about that question that everyone asks, “What would
you do with all of that money?” I
believe the answer to that question is fairly obvious. First, you would spend a great deal of time, money
and energy laying out a plan with a very high-powered tax attorney. Second, you would spend the majority of the
rest of your time avoiding the horde of family, friends, strangers and
charitable causes eager to feed from the crumbs falling off of the edges of
your new-found fortune.
But just suppose you were to escape the neuroses and guilt
with a bit of your fortune intact. How
would you spend it? Remember, you
probably opted for the lump sum payment (most financial advisors would suggest
that option… oh yeah, you’re going to want a really talented CFP too) so right
off the top you’re giving away about one-half of the face value; you start with
about $750 million. Don’t panic, your
CFP will be able to design a strategy by which you earn more through wise
investing than you gave up by taking the cash value. Next in line will be the government taxing
authorities to collect their shares. Let’s
say you are lucky enough to live in a state that exempts lottery winnings from
state taxation. Then we will set your
federal tax rate at somewhere around forty percent (that’s a nice round number). You know have $450 million. Humph!
Even using rounding, you can’t call yourself a billionaire.
So now that you have arrived at a usable figure that you
can spend, what do you want to buy?
Well, do you like to travel? I
would bet that most people, especially those likely to buy power ball tickets, have
seen little of the world in which they live and believe this would be a good
use of their new found wealth. But then
Europe is being overrun with Semitic refugees some of whom are prone to
disruptive behavior; you may want to put that off until later. One could always travel to Latin
America. However, it seems that so much
of the available labor force has emigrated to the United States, that there
wouldn’t be anyone left to provide that first class service you will want to
become accustom to as a “one-third of a billionaire”. India?
Too hot and crowded. Asia? Much sword rattling going on recently. Africa? Malaria! Australia?
Woman shortage. Russia? Too cold.
Now I have heard that New Zealand is a wonderful place full of friendly
people. But then you have enough money
to buy the whole county. What would you
do with all those sheep. I mean, with
global warming being such an imminent threat, sweater manufacturing is a
declining industry.
Well, maybe domestic travel would be more to your liking. Road trip? I mean, you could buy any kind of car you
wanted: Mercedes, Jaguar, Aston-Martin, Bentley, Rolls-Royce. As nice as those automobiles are though, you
see them everywhere. They wouldn’t
really mark you as a top-tier traveler.
How about a first-class motor home?
But then every retired teacher has one of those (good union, good
retirement).
You certainly would not continue in your job. Just think how much extra time you would have
by ditching that eight-hour routine.
With all that extra time, you could spend more with the spouse to reinvigorate
the old romance. You might as well,
statistics show that of couples who win a big jackpot, ninety-eight percent
stay married. There were no statistics
available for how may started taking separate vacations. Or you could start that hobby you were always
interested in. Of course, you have
enough money now that you could just pay someone who knows what they’re doing to
build all of that custom furniture.
How about a new house?
With your fortune you could live in any zip code you wished. But do you really want your old friends scratching
up that travertine floor with their Red Wing boots? You’re comfortable in the old digs
anyway. Who needs more rooms to
clean? But on the other hand, you could
hire a maid, give the missus an opportunity to get out of the house on her
own. That’s it! You need a maid!
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