Planet X Redoux

I you are not inebriated; you may recall this blog took on a community service role last week advising the population of the hypothesized existence of a ninth planet (Planet X minus one 1/22/16).  I assured you all that this information was based on mathematical models designed to explain idiosyncrasies in the orbit of Neptune.  As so, there was no need to get excited about this phenomenon as no direct observations had yet been made.

I also shared that such hypotheses had existed for many years; long before the demotion of Pluto to dwarf planet status by Big Astronomy.  Thus the theoretical planet had been dubbed “Planet X”; a play on the fact that it was unknown and the roman numeral for the number ten, “X”.

I also asserted that the planet had not been named.

Oops!

I learned this week, from Rob Waugh’s Yahoo Blog, that indeed the new Planet “X” had been named “Nibiru”.  It seems that there is a conspiracy culture out there (on the fringes of human population here on Earth, not on Nibiru) that predicts this unseen world is going to destroy Earth.  One Zecharia Sitchin, a writer (and we all know the value of information advanced by writers), claimed aliens from Nibiru created the human race.  Mr. Sitchin is unavailable for comment on these recent developments as he is currently dead (RIP 2010… I wonder if there is any numerological connection between Planet “X” and the year of his death).

From here, Mr. Waugh’s reporting gets a bit murky as I am not sure when he is quoting Sitchin, or Nigel Watson (author of UFO Investigations Manual… who knew there was one… Christmas is just around the corner) quoting Sitchin stating that Nibiru is populated by the Anunnaki’ an advanced humanoid race who visited Earth thousands of years (ago?) to mine gold in Africa.  Needing a supply of workers, they used genetic engineering to create Homo Sapiens (that’s us).

So there you have it, the sum total of my knowledge on Planet “X”:  Last week, innocuous mathematical formula; this week source of the apocalypse. I warned you about naming it! 

Planet X minus one

I am sure that by now you have heard of the “discovery” of a new planet.  I italicize discovery because its use stretches the definition of that word.  No actual empirical or observational evidence exists that there is indeed a planet (using the modern definition of planet which caused the exclusion of Pluto from that sorority) in our solar system beyond Neptune.  And further, this is not new science.  I have been following the discussion for years that a heretofore unrealized planet was out there perturbing the orbit of Neptune.  It was those very observations of Neptunian idiosyncratic behavior which led to the Pluto hypothesis and subsequent observation.  Many astronomers were critical of the assignation of such gravitational influence by Pluto because it was just too small (not enough mass to influence the orbit of a gas giant, eg, Neptune.  They therefore hypothesized that a tenth, much larger planet, was in fact responsible for the observable orbit of Neptune.  They called that theoretical world Planet “X”; for its unknown placement and the roman numeral for ten.  Astronomers always like to add a bit of whimsy into their dissertations in hopes it will help them get laid.  It doesn’t.

Moving along to the twenty-first century, as alluded to above, the scientific community, probably in an attempt to distract us from the fact that the dogma of global warming was coming apart at the seams, invented a new controversy involving the nomenclature of celestial phenomena which resulted in the defrocking of Pluto.  There were two main fallouts associated with this: One was the public outcry at the demotion of their beloved ice ball; the other was the obsolescence of the moniker Planet “X”.  One of the earliest lessons taught me by my father was, “Don’t name the dog that followed you home son, because you can’t keep it anyway.”  Too late, the media has already dubbed this placeholder planet, Planet 9.  Now it only remains to see if Disney Studios will create a new cartoon character as its namesake.

Neptune

“So Dale,” you ask, “How come we can’t see the new planet?”  Well children, the truth is, it’s way, way out there.  The average orbital distance from the Sun to Neptune is 30.1 AU (astronomical unit – approximately 93 million miles, or the distance from the Sun to the Earth).  Planet Nine’s (if indeed it is out there at all) distance at its closest orbital point is 200 AU.  Its orbital period is believed to be 15,000 years, give or take a five millennia.

“But Dale, how do we know this stray won’t be demoted as Pluto was.?”  Well, because it is big; about the same size as Neptune.  While Pluto is just a little bitty runt.  A ball of rock and ice in the Kuyper belt where it seems to be just one of many; some of which appear to be much larger than Pluto.

So there you go kids.  Once again science has proven unequivocally that size matters.  Even if you can’t see it.  Any questions?

Told Ya So!

Just wanted to take this opportunity demonstrate how much smarter I am than everybody else.

This morning (Friday, January 15, 2016) I was perusing the news stories on my home page so thoughtfully, albeit slowly, provided by ATT.net.  It is my wont to read anything I find about cosmology (the study of the origins of the Universe, not hair styling) and physics.  Today I hit a treasure trove of personal validation!

 http://finance.yahoo.com/news/two-most-dangerous-numbers-universe-194557366.html

If you tried to read the article to which you were directed by following the link above but found it just a bit too esoteric, welcome to the club.  So, in my humble fashion, I will paraphrase and get to the meat of the matter (meat of the matter, that’s a physics joke… which just goes to show you I am not a humorless nerd).  The article quotes Harry Cliff (no, I don’t know who he is either), “It's the idea that we are reaching the absolute limit of what we can understand about the world around us through science.”  I think he is just being a whiner; probably got turned down for that last grant proposal.  Every time science stalls a bit, someone says, “That’s it, we’ve learned everything it is possible to know.  The rest will remain a mystery!”  Horse Hockey!  But that is not the point of this special blog entry.  The point is for me to brag.

In the article the author references the phenomenon of dark energy.  This is the mysterious force to which cosmologists assign responsibility for the accelerating expansion of the Universe.  While scientists have been able to measure the force, they cannot identify the source or cause.  It is a mystery.  “Still, we don't know what dark energy is," Cliff admits. "But the best idea is that it's the energy of empty space itself — the energy of the vacuum."

I now refer you to my blog posting of April 16, 2014, The Big Suck! in which I wrote:

I will propose that perhaps there is nothing out there; just a big vacuum.  And that our universe is expanding into the void.  That would explain how the expansion is accelerating.  As the stuff in our universe is expanding in all directions, the gravitational attraction of galaxies is weakened by the increasing distance between them, therefore allowing the expansion to accelerate.  The universe is not being pushed from within, but pulled from without!

Huzzah!  Yes, I’m tooting my horn.  Basking in my own self-generated spotlight.  You are so lucky to know me.  Nobel nominations should be submitted by September one.  Now, if only I could do the math.

$1.5 Billion!

Powerball mania is sweeping the globe.  People from states that do not participate in the contest are journeying to those that do.  Persons living outside the country are traveling for the chance to win the big pot.  I am nonplussed.  Being a numbers guy, I am too much aware of the odds involved and so, am unable to generate and enthusiasm for participating. Add to that my personal history of having never won a contest of any kind that was based on pure chance, I would rather spend the money on a well-made burrito.  At least then I would know the true value of my purchase.  And that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach wouldn’t be a response to the realization that my dreams had been dashed against the rocks of disappointment, but rather a mild case of indigestion.

And how about that question that everyone asks, “What would you do with all of that money?”  I believe the answer to that question is fairly obvious.  First, you would spend a great deal of time, money and energy laying out a plan with a very high-powered tax attorney.  Second, you would spend the majority of the rest of your time avoiding the horde of family, friends, strangers and charitable causes eager to feed from the crumbs falling off of the edges of your new-found fortune.

But just suppose you were to escape the neuroses and guilt with a bit of your fortune intact.  How would you spend it?  Remember, you probably opted for the lump sum payment (most financial advisors would suggest that option… oh yeah, you’re going to want a really talented CFP too) so right off the top you’re giving away about one-half of the face value; you start with about $750 million.  Don’t panic, your CFP will be able to design a strategy by which you earn more through wise investing than you gave up by taking the cash value.  Next in line will be the government taxing authorities to collect their shares.  Let’s say you are lucky enough to live in a state that exempts lottery winnings from state taxation.  Then we will set your federal tax rate at somewhere around forty percent (that’s a nice round number).  You know have $450 million.  Humph!  Even using rounding, you can’t call yourself a billionaire.

So now that you have arrived at a usable figure that you can spend, what do you want to buy?  Well, do you like to travel?  I would bet that most people, especially those likely to buy power ball tickets, have seen little of the world in which they live and believe this would be a good use of their new found wealth.  But then Europe is being overrun with Semitic refugees some of whom are prone to disruptive behavior; you may want to put that off until later.  One could always travel to Latin America.  However, it seems that so much of the available labor force has emigrated to the United States, that there wouldn’t be anyone left to provide that first class service you will want to become accustom to as a “one-third of a billionaire”.  India?  Too hot and crowded.  Asia?  Much sword rattling going on recently.  Africa? Malaria!  Australia?  Woman shortage.  Russia?  Too cold.  Now I have heard that New Zealand is a wonderful place full of friendly people.  But then you have enough money to buy the whole county.  What would you do with all those sheep.  I mean, with global warming being such an imminent threat, sweater manufacturing is a declining industry.

Well, maybe domestic travel would be more to your liking.  Road trip?  I mean, you could buy any kind of car you wanted: Mercedes, Jaguar, Aston-Martin, Bentley, Rolls-Royce.  As nice as those automobiles are though, you see them everywhere.  They wouldn’t really mark you as a top-tier traveler.  How about a first-class motor home?  But then every retired teacher has one of those (good union, good retirement).

You certainly would not continue in your job.  Just think how much extra time you would have by ditching that eight-hour routine.  With all that extra time, you could spend more with the spouse to reinvigorate the old romance.  You might as well, statistics show that of couples who win a big jackpot, ninety-eight percent stay married.  There were no statistics available for how may started taking separate vacations.  Or you could start that hobby you were always interested in.  Of course, you have enough money now that you could just pay someone who knows what they’re doing to build all of that custom furniture.

How about a new house?  With your fortune you could live in any zip code you wished.  But do you really want your old friends scratching up that travertine floor with their Red Wing boots?  You’re comfortable in the old digs anyway.  Who needs more rooms to clean?  But on the other hand, you could hire a maid, give the missus an opportunity to get out of the house on her own.  That’s it!  You need a maid!

Absurdum Tempestas

If you follow my musings you know that I am not a global warming denier, but very skeptical about the influence of human activity, likelihood of catastrophic (existential) outcomes, and the need for radical action that would unbalance the global economy.  I am very confident of my position because I listen to the argument put forth by “the majority of the scientific community” versus that professed by career meteorologists.  And to my ear, the people who actually make their living studying weather phenomena and can understand the physics involved (the meteorologists, in case it wasn’t clear), make the most cogent argument regarding the runaway greenhouse effect, which to date can be distilled into one neat little package.  Hooey!

Then there are the astronomers.  I like people who have figured out a way to make a living staring at the sky.  I only wish I could have been born with the math genes that would allow me to joint their ranks.  Unfortunately, once I try to cross that bridge separating algebra from arithmetic, a nasty troll emerges with his big stick and knocks me into a ditch.  But I digress.  The point is, the astronomers are telling me that the earth’s atmosphere is warming because the energy output from the sun has been, since birth, increasing and will continue to do so until it runs out of fuel (5 billion years, give or take a millennium), and we don’t want to be around for that.  Fortunately, we won’t, as temperature increases brought about by this natural phenomenon will make the planet untenable for human life in somewhere between 10,000 to 100,000 years (boy I wish I’d had that kind of margin of error when working up cash flow projections).

So I get kind of annoyed when people on the green train tell me what kind of light bulbs to use and such.  But today, I am taking a more cautious posture toward this weather thing.  For the first time in my life, I am living under the threat of a tornado alert (per KGTV).  Yes, right here in San Diego… and that starts with “S” … and that stands for “Shit!”

Now I am no expert, but I have been living under the impression that tornados were warm weather phenomena.  And let me tell you, it has not been warm or anywhere near it here in paradise for the past few weeks.  Like right now I’m sitting here typing away on this masterpiece at 1642 hrs. (PST) and it is sixty-four (64^oF) degrees… indoors!  I don’t know where you all come from, but 64^o is not warm!

Now I know some of my readers live in harsher climes where these conditions would seem downright balmy.  But wearing a flannel shirt around the house is just unnatural.  If God had intended us to gird ourselves against the weather, he would have given us fur.  Come to think of it, chimpanzees have lots of body hair and they live in the tropics.  I’m starting to wonder if Darwin may have missed a few links.

Well anyway, if you don’t hear from me next week. just assume I was sucked up to Oz in a twister.  After all, I do live on The Yellow Brick Road (yeah, I do… really!).