The Princess and the Pee-er

This post is not about fairy tales.  It is not about urinary tract infections.  There is no misspelling which might suggest the title references vegetables.  No, this is a blog about May-December romances.  You know the ones I mean; older guy playing the role as sugar daddy to a young hotty.  Or it could be a fading dowager entertaining the advances of a young gigolo.  You know the story; robbing the cradle.  As the examples attest, we generally pooh-pooh such matchups as serving some nefarious stratagem designed to exchange emotional and physical affection for monetary advantage or economic security.

But there are other motives:  Men seeking affirmation that their masculinity is intact; women with daddy issues; men with unnatural attachments to their mothers; power plays.  One can identify myriad reasons for May-December unions, but rarely does the list include true romance.  Can the heart of a man of advanced maturity truly harbor an untainted love for a woman one or maybe two generations removed?  Is it possible for a well-centered young woman to attach emotionally to a man of age without at least the hint of some economic motive?  Must there be exceeding emotional vacancy in the heart of a sage woman for her to attach to a man much younger?  Will only a young man seeking to fill the void of motherly love unite with a woman beyond her reproductive years?

Hollywood says yes, or no, depending on which of these questions one is seeking to answer.

“Aha!” you shout. “This week’s missive is about movies.  Thank God, I thought he was going to drone on about some personal experience that would eventually lead to nausea for us, the readers.”

No, you’re safe.  There are no personal histories or tawdry anecdotes.  But do you find fault with the proposition that in polite society (or am I dreaming of a bygone era) romantic unions that span generations are generally sneered at and believed to have their genesis in prurient or pecuniary motives?

If you look to the Golden Age of Hollywood, it would seem pure May-December romances are not only possible, but common and blissful.  To wit, I offer the reader some of my favorite movies in which age disparity is a key element.

To Catch a Thief (1955-Paramount Pictures): Directed by Alfred Hitchcock, this Riviera set thriller features Cary Grant as a retired, reformed jewel thief, and Grace Kelly as a young jet setter (back when being a jet setter meant something) he sets up as bait to catch a burglar that has been leaving clues behind which suggest Grant has come out of retirement.  As one would expect, a romance ignites between Grant and Kelly.  What is unexpected is the mastermind behind the thefts and how it fits into the theme of this blog entry.  See the movie to understand this assertion.

Love in the Afternoon (1957-United Artists): This is another of my favorite Billy Wilder films (director/writer, to see more about Wilder films, see the post “A Wilder Ride” July 31, 2014) and deals very directly with this subject in a relationship that develops between a young Parisian musician (Audrey Hepburn) and a worldly American businessman (Gary Cooper).  The two engage in an affair of convenience, but as is de rigueur for the puritanical fifties (we had to defeat the march of Communism, for God’s sake… there was no room for moral ambiguity) in the end they legitimize their love by getting married.  What sets this film apart is the deft manipulation of the bon vivant Cooper by the seeming ingénue, Hepburn.

North by Northwest (1959-MGM): Lore has it that Alfred Hitchcock (Director) envisioned a climactic fight scene atop the stone monument at Mount Rushmore and commissioned screenwriter Ernest Lehman to write a script that would get him there.  The product is perhaps the greatest suspense drama ever.  Cary Grant plays a middle-aged business executive thrown into espionage intrigue resulting from mistaken identity.  While trying to unravel the mystery, he encounters the much younger Eva Marie Saint who it turns out is employed by, as well as romantically entangled with, master spy James Mason.  The scene on the Twentieth Century Limited (that’s a train that ran between New York and Chicago, youngsters) in which Saint seduces Grant will reaffirm that the snake (you know, from the Garden of Eden) really was a rank amateur.  It’s Hitchcock, of course there’s a twist!  But it’s consistent with the theme of this post.  You’ll also want to look into a train trip.

Murphy’s Romance (1985-Columbia Pictures):  Directed by Martin Ritt, this is one of two movies for which James Garner was nominated for an Academy Award (The Notebook).  He plays a near-retirement pharmacist in a town where domestically abused Sally Field has just moved with her son to escape the ex-husband.  This is a cute, little love-conquers-all flick that demonstrates how people can overcome generational differences to find true love.  After you have watched this (because I recommended it), then see The Americanization of Emily (1964-MGM, director: Arthur Hiller) to see Garner in a truly tour-de-force performance.

Harold and Maude (1971-Paramount Pictures):  Director Hal Ashby was known for his quirky, off-center comedies that shone a light on the dark corners of life.  That’s not unusual for the times.  But this effort went way beyond quirky.  It’s just sick; in a subdued, comical kind of way.  Bud Cort plays a detached, death obsessed twenty-year-old who stages gruesome accidents and faux suicide attempts, much to the chagrin of his mother.  Her quest is to get Harold involved in a love affair that will change his focus.  Unpredictably, he meets the eighty-year-old Maude (Ruth Gordon) at a funeral for a person neither of them knew.  The relationship they develop is fueled by the isolation each feels from humanity.  The need for human connection and affection evolves into a sexual relationship. I saw this movie about the time I was becoming sexually active and I’m surprised it didn’t set me back a couple of years.  See this movie; no matter your challenges in life, it will make you feel better about yourself.

As much as I love the fantasy world of movies, I live my life steeped in realism and logic.  I don’t believe the power of love can bridge an extreme generational gap. Maybe it would be different for one as handsome as Cary Grant.  But if you care to try to prove me wrong…