The Tao of "So?" III

In the first two missives of my philosophic manifesto The Tao of “So?”, I have offered readers practical tools designed to deflect responsibility without abdication of either authority or credit.  If you recall, the thrust of the methodology is to reverse a question around so that responsibility is returned squarely onto the inquirer. I truly believe that among all the potential motives for doing so, that most completely shrouded in the fog of apathy is personal development.  As leaders it is our responsibility to teach our charges.  And what lesson is better learned than that which one acquires through experience?

So while at first glance, it may seem the primary motive for following the Tao of “So?” is work avoidance, and it may well be, we can always fall back, if our approach is challenged, to this instance being the perfect opportunity for the ever elusive teachable moment. “What path is better remembered than that blazed personally?” you might offer the skeptical minion, “My reluctance to provide a direct answer is predicated on the belief that your struggle will better prepare you for the opportunities soon to be encountered in your assuredly bright future.”

It is unavoidable however, that at some point, you will be faced with that all too uncomfortable scenario; a minion who will not be outflanked by clever word play. You will recognize him by his impatient stare at the ceiling as you apply rhetoric that most likely you have offered before (even a language as complex as English has a limited number of word combinations to be applied to any specific set of circumstances). Confirmation will come when upon your pause he lowers his eyes to meet yours, his face flushes a bit from frustration and his voice lowers a register, “You suggested that yesterday, I was here late last night running it down and I still don’t have an answer!”

Don’t panic! Now is the time for nuance.  First, do not avert your eyes; weakness will be interpreted as surrender. Tilt your head just a bit.  Assume a paternal smile, just a slight upturn at the corners of your mouth. Note; if you are in the habit of wearing a moustache, you might practice the art of releasing just a small tear into your eyes to make them glisten as with affectionate pride, so as to simulate a smile. Lower your voice for sincerity, “So, how do you think I can help you?” You have once again taken the high ground, successfully repelling his attempt at a pincers movement. Important: Do not mix this up with, “How can I help you?” or “What can I do to help you?” Remember, your goal is to avoid participation.

Once you have established that any ideas about your assistance will be born of your challenger’s imagination, you are free to dismiss them without prejudice.  Always return ownership of the solution to your pupil. You are there to support his approach to the extent it is successful.  His success is your success.  But failure must forever be associated with his lack of ability, effort, and intellect!  After all, didn’t you give him the benefit of your assistance to the extreme limits of your experience and insight?

Mastery of deflect and return techniques are only achieved through years of practice, or if one is lucky, an abundant supply of timid or intellectually challenged underlings.  Remember, intellect and intelligence is not the same thing. Intelligence is the ability to learn from experience and assimilate new knowledge. Intellect is the ability to reason. Eventually, your minion will either demonstrate adeptness for intellectual processes or quit in frustration while wondering aloud, “Why did my professors keep telling me I was so smart when clearly I wasn’t?”

This is the moment you have been waiting for and you should be happy to rid yourself of a non-thinker. You should be as proud when you have identified a true thinker.  They have shown a propensity for gleaning the lesson you are trying so diligently not to spoon feed them; namely, the only chance for success is to rely on one’s own talents.  And with this leap in understanding, a self-starter will be born. They will at last make sense of the slogan hanging on the wall above your credenza:

My Job is to Make Your Life Better!