The Tao of "So?" II

You will recall from my last post the introduction of the Tao of “So?” If you have not read that post or (and this is much more likely) you have forgotten, the few minutes it would take to read it would hardly be worth the effort.  So I will briefly recap: In my quest to understand the world and its workings both physical and metaphysical I developed an approach to answering the great questions. My strategy was to simplify the investigative process by stripping away the complications associated with concern for others’ problems. The key component of this technique was the question, “So, what does it mean to me?” Hopefully you can see the implication therein that if it is not my problem, I am not invested in solving it.

We have seen the power of deflecting inquiries by illustrating that there is no connection between the subject of discussion and one’s self.  But you may be assured that from time to time the more ambitious among your peers and minions will try very hard to pierce the veil of apathy. As beautifully simple as “So?” seems, the master eluder must also be able to employ another technique I have dubbed, “The next obvious question.”

On its face, this seems a simple enough task.  For example, you see that your car’s red temperature light is glowing.  Your first question is, “Why is my temperature light on?” The answer is almost obviously, “Something is amiss with the cooling system!” Your next question would be, “How do I determine the source of the problem?” Once again, the near obvious answer is, “I’ll open the hood and take a peek at the engine.” So far you are doing well and would be on a par with any certified auto mechanic.  Assuming you possess the knowledge necessary to open the hood, upon doing so you encounter steam swirling and rising about your face. Your brilliance up to now emboldens further inquiry, “Where is the steam coming from?”  You naturally trace the steam to its origin where you find a hose connection that is leaking radiator fluid.  I could go on until you break your knuckles with an ill advised attempt to fix said leak yourself, but I believe this sufficiently illustrates my point; every discovery results in a new question until you get to the root cause of the problem where corrective action may be taken.  And for the merely talented this is sufficient.

But for the brilliant, your ambition is to avoid being dragged into both the search for truth and the resulting efforts identified as necessary to solve what you are trying to isolate as someone else’s problem. For this you need a slightly more sophisticated approach to, “The next obvious question.” I introduce to you, “The next obvious answer!”

Don’t panic!  I am not asking you to devote any of your precious time or energy to developing complex, valid answers to questions you deem unimportant anyway. What you need to learn is how to identify a question to which the answer is so obvious it cannot be contested. Thus you have forced your annoying petitioner to start down a path of reasoning that will deliver him, like it or not, to a solution that requires no participation from you.

I warn you, this is advanced deflection and should be attempted only by the most experienced responsibility self-absolvers.  The slightest error in navigating these waters could result in major embarrassment, or worse, additional work.  Read the following very carefully and make it part of your personal toolkit.

Rule one; never, under any circumstances, ask a question to which you do not know the unequivocal answer. Open ended questions are fraught with danger.  If ever faced with someone else’s dilemma, and you cannot counter with a question that will immediately deflect ownership, raise your eyes to the ceiling, stroke your chin and state; “My, that is a poser!  Let me think on it and get back to you when I have something helpful to offer.” Then stare hard into the eyes of your petitioner and say, “Let me know when you have found the answer.”  Then look at your watch, stare absentmindedly in any direction other than your annoyer and walk away as if you’d just remembered you had somewhere else to be.

Rule two; when posing your question to which the answer is obvious, assume an intellectual air. Act as if the connection between the issues at hand and your question/answer is so obvious that your disciple would have eventually recognized this on his own.  Do not say so in as many words!  Let the target of your tactical attack believe he has stumbled onto the truth by himself.  To do otherwise would be insulting and undermine your attempts to make the student believe you are mentoring him.

Rule three; if at any time after contact has been broken off, you stumble upon a solution to subject conundrum, do not seek out the individual you had previously so successfully dismissed and offer your help! You will only reinforce his original undesirable behavior which was to ask you a question in the first place.  Instead, sit on this piece of wisdom.  If, after some time has passed, your nuisance reemerges because he has failed to solve his own problem, be nonchalant. Once again, stare as if momentarily wrapped in deep thought, this time out the window… to demonstrate that your office has windows. Then off-handedly infer your solution in a way your minion will be able to see the answer on his own. Never spoon feed, suckle.

My experience has taught me such concepts can be complex.  If you feel you have any questions at this time don’t ask now.  You will benefit greatly from the exercise of trying to answer them yourself.  And if you cannot, the question was probably not worth asking in the first place.