ism [iz-uh m]
n. a distinctive doctrine, theory,
system, or practice: This is the age of
isms.
Vegetarianism-a
lifestyle choice which eschews the eating of animal flesh. In the extreme, also excluding all
commodities containing animal sourced materials. From an economic standpoint, this relieves
price pressures on meat food products correspondent to the reduced demand. More affordable hamburgers (pork chops, carne
asada, etc.) for the rest of us. The
most common motives for this practice are improved health and/or ethical belief
that cows (cats, dogs, chickens, zooplankton, etc.) are people too. Dale’s advice: Never trust a fat vegetarian.
Socialism-a
political/economic system which emphasizes state ownership of the means of
production and justifies subordination of the individual to the community, but
often through democratic means.
Proponents have often experienced repeated failure within a free-market,
competitive environment. This system is most frequently characterized by the
redistribution of income/wealth through political means (i.e., taxes). Dale’s advice: Conduct as much commerce as
possible using hard cash.
Communism-the
political theory that the individual’s actions should benefit the community or
the state rather than the individual.
The system is most frequently characterized by the redistribution of
everything to the ruling elite (unanimously elected, so they tell us) by the
use of force (i.e., tanks). It is unclear how the system justifies its efficacy
without looking to the condition of the individual (which it hasn’t) who has so
graciously surrendered all control for his life to the party. Dale’s advice: Don’t wait until the last
minute, buy your guns (and associated accoutrements) before it’s too late.
Darwinism-the
biology theory that all living things have descended from earlier common
ancestors through processes of evolution such as natural selection. The strongest evidence offered is the
milestone transition from ape to man when proto-humans transitioned from arboreal
to terran existence by literally lowering themselves out of the family
tree. The strongest argument against
natural selection and survival of the fittest is an examination of the fans
attending a NASCAR event. Dale’s advice: Don’t let your chimpanzee drive the family
car.
Magnetism-the
theory that oppositely charged particles are attracted to each other while
similarly charged particles are repelled by each other. Long story short; this is an argument against
marriage. Think about it… then if you are
still confused, e-mail me and I’ll explain it to you.
Barbarism-the
belief that marauding hordes (e.g., Mongols) spread their seed among the
conquered societies therefore affecting the genetic progression of human
development increasing to some degree the homogeneousness of the geographical
mix. So named barbarism for Aunt Barbara
who staunchly believes she is a descendent of Genghis Khan’s jovial
half-brother, Bubulla Khan (not to be confused by the featured dancer at
Rowdy’s Gentlemen’s Club, Boob ala Khan).
Criticism-you
stink!
Skepticism-a
human reasoning faculty that allows one the ability to test reported
information from a questionable source against logic. But I don’t think it works (e.g., state of
the world!)
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