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This is just one of those weeks when nothing inspiring has crossed my path.  I am feeling neither philosophic nor comedic. Yet my urge to pound on the keypad is not abated.  So, as you read this week’s missive, keep an eye out for anything entertaining or educational and report back to me.

I’ve been to Baltimore, once.  It was a business trip and two of the staff from the main office of my employer (Columbia, MD) were kind enough to shuttle my ass up to the city for Maryland Blue Crab.  I guess Marylanders are proud of this cuisine.  I found it tedious and uninspiring; I believe I expended more calories pounding the meat out of the boiled critters than I consumed.  And when I was done, my hands smelled like crab boil; and did for the next several days.  The women next to me on the flight home asked, “First time to Baltimore?”  When I answered in the affirmative, she wrinkled her nose and said, “Thought so!”  Now I don’t mean to impugn the character of the Old Line State (whatever the hell that means); my hosts were genial and generous with their time.  But if the city’s high point is self-serve crab they can let it burn, just tow the USS Constellation (Civil War Sloop, not the aircraft carrier) to open sea first.

One of my agents reports, “It is cold in Chicago!”  Duh!  It’s only April 29^th .  Guess where it’s not cold.  Yup, San Diego; as our President reminds us every day, choices have consequences.  It was a balmy 92^o at my house today.

I heard an echo reflected off the wall somewhere that the Supreme Court will look into the definition of marriage.  Other than, “I don’t care!” my reaction is this:  When I was a young tot, marriage was a legal status that allowed a man and woman to share a domicile and engage in coitus.  If persons were not married, said behaviors were illegal.  Then, sometime during the Viet Nam War (yes, I blame the communists), society’s axis changed and the legal onus on non-marrieds was removed.  So as there is no real penalty associated with co-habitation (aka shacking up) in the postmodern era, let’s just can it as a legal status and return the sacrament of marriage back to its religious roots.  Each denomination can perform the ceremony over whomever they choose.  If one is in a gay relationship and can find a minister that will perform the ceremony, then they are married.  Make family oriented tax treatments based on children in the household and not on marital status.  I’m sure such a stand will alienate some traditionalists out there.  But I’m just tired of hearing about it.  And if we don’t let everyone have their way, they’re just going to keep whining about it. Oh, I draw the line at goats.  Goats cannot enter into a marriage.  Sheep?  Well, I’m not so sure.  Baa-baa!