How to Plan a Road Trip

For those of you who’ve had the pleasure of reading my travel logs, you know that I am a road trip maven.  It’s been a while (too long a while) since my last trip but having just completed one I thought I would offer those of you un-christened the benefit of my vast experience.

First point of order: A camping trip is not a road trip.  One may camp during the evolution of a road trip, but camping is a discipline of its own.  Preparations for the two disparate journeys are completely different.  I have camped while on road trips; chiefly because camping is somewhat cheaper than a motel stay but also because there have been occasions when day’s end sprang at me with nary a lodging facility in sight.  Yes, there have been the odd occasions when the kind Deputy Sheriffs have informed me and my fellow travelers that sleeping in the town’s central square was not considered polite behavior. More about such experiences in future blog postings.

While I have engaged in road trips with minimum planning and maximum spontaneity, experience and wisdom taught me the value of thinking through destinations and routes.  Don’t get me wrong; I am a proponent of the no reservation, lax timetable approach to highway travel.  But it is very beneficial to the success and enjoyment of a road trip to have at least an inkling of the highways available to reach the chosen destinations. This is particularly crucial when travelling with companions… even more so with female companions.

The most valuable tools in prepping for a road trip are books and maps.  The books are useful in identifying locations of historical events and scientific phenomena; example, the Grand Canyon. If one was just cruising along Interstate Highway 40 without fore knowledge of its existence and approximate location, one would never know they had passed it by.  It is the biggest geologic feature in the Continental United States, and they hid it, well!

Don’t be disheartened thinking a successful road tripper need spend all their time poring over science and history tomes.  Some schmuck has done that for you then written a book easily found in the travel section of Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.  They have clever little titles like, New Mexico, Off the Beaten Path. When people have asked me, “Dale, how do you find these obscure treasures to visit and write about?” I respond, “I read books!”

Maps and atlases (a collection of bound maps, usually related in some way by proximity or subject matter… also available at your local book store) are essential to navigation.  But they are extremely useful for planning as well.  Don’t learn simply how to read a map… learn how to study a map.  Perhaps in some future missive I will conduct a map study primmer, but there is not room enough here.  Let me emphasize, if you know how to study a map and are proficient in internet searching, the world opens up as it never has before.

Navigation frustrates many, especially novice road trippers.  There are five necessities for successful land navigation:

·         Knowledge of where you are.

·         Knowledge of where you want to be.

·         Knowledge of  where both of those locations are on a map

·         Familiarity with true north (if you don’t understand the difference between true north and magnetic north, you are going to spend a lot of time retracing your routes).

·         A watch.

If you don’t recognize the value of each of these, send me an e-mail and I will elucidate.

One can always reduce the risk of getting lost by using a Garmin or other such device.  I use one.  But I use it only as a route tracking tool.  I design my own route (my Garmin came with software that lets me do this on my PC then upload to the mobile device) to ensure I see what I want to see, go where I want to go.  Your GPS device will know where you are.  It will most likely be able to locate and plot your destination.  But letting it build the route based solely on information contained in its database will put you on a concrete ribbon where the most interesting sites are truck stops.  If you study your maps, you will be able find the old roads… and that is your ultimate navigation goal.  It’s where all the interesting things happened.  It’s where all of the interesting cantinas are to be found.

A word or two about comestibles (look it up!): A common rookie mistake is to overload your vehicle with food.  Remember, this is not a camping trip. First: In the modern world of transportation infrastructure, you will encounter very few stretches of roadway that do not offer some sort of convenience store/gas station every thirty to sixty minutes of travel time.  This is important because they generally offer restrooms and your traveling companion(s) will have need of these (especially the women folk… and guys once they get past the age of fifty).  It is customary and an unwritten law in the code of the road tripper to buy something if you are using these otherwise free facilities.  If you need gas, that is good enough.  But someone in your party will inevitably need to pee out of cycle with you petrol purchase rotation.  Unless you are collecting exceedingly badly constructed baseball caps with rude comments, you will buy snacks; no need to load up before you leave home.

Second: One of the major tenants of road tripping is the belief that the best chicken-fried steak (or hamburger, or burrito… name your own poison) is just around the next bend.  So when you make that fateful turn, you don’t want to be full on Slim-Jims.  Also, eschew chain restaurants.  You can eat all the Applebee’s you want when you get home.  Look for the locally owned and operated hash houses and greasy spoons.  Breakfasts are the best opportunity for discovering some epicurean delight of regional origin but all meals should be taken at the most rustic establishment you can find.

Time is your friend.  This next piece of advice is born of many years’ experience.  Do not pack too many miles in a day.  You can beat the land speed record next time you are travelling to Aunt Effie’s house for Thanksgiving.  A road trip is about the journey, not the destination. Along the route, you encounter opportunities for fun and learning that were not indicated in your original trip plan.  Considering the plethora of roads you have to travel in your lifetime, never assume you will pass this way again.  Take the opportunity to bathe in the glow of kitsch tourist traps.  Read the billboards along the way, searching out “The Thing?” or “Singing Caverns”.

To make the journey more relaxing, stop every two hours or so (believe me, if you are traveling with a female it’s gonna happen anyway) and spend five or ten minutes walking around to limber up those legs… toes need blood too.  This is a matter of individual preference, but I like to get started early each day.  There is something peaceful about the long shadows of the morning.  And as your travel companions will likely be droned into sleep by the motion of the car you can take advantage of the quiet time to ponder the question, “Why did I bring these jerks along anyway?”

·         Best afternoon pick-me-up: A&W Root Beer float (or freeze)

·         Best hard candy: Coffee Nips

·         Best state for scenery: Utah

·         Best state for history: New Mexico

·         Best white knuckle highways: Colorado

·         Most unpleasant Border Patrol Agents: Texas

Enjoy your next (or first) trip… and remember, if you need a first-class navigator, I am generally available.