Full CIrcle

I saw a news story recently that inspired this post.  I will get to the content of that news story shortly.  But first, I must lay a bit of historical background.

Do you know that the mascot of the United States Military Academy (West Point) is a mule?  If not, you do now.  It’s a funny thing about knowledge; once you learn it, you cannot unlearn it, the genie cannot be put back in the bottle.  Oh, you can deny knowledge.  But inside you still know it, and you know you know it.  But I digress.

Not to be outdone, the United States Naval Academy (Annapolis) has chosen a goat for its mascot.  Now there’s a non-sequitor.  I dare you to draw me a logical line from maintaining the security of the country through control of the world’s oceans to a goat.  The Air Force Academy; Falcons: which makes some sense, their prevue being the wild blue yonder and such.  The Coast Guard Academy; Bears: which only makes sense when you learn that their mascot name is taken from the U.S.S Bear, a Coast Guard vessel involved in a dramatic rescue operation the year the academy opened (1897).  The Merchant Marine Academy; Mariner: apt I suppose, however hardly suited to caricature.  But I digress, again.

Of the service academies’ mascots, the Army Mule seems the most representative of the history and tradition of the service.  The Army actually employed mules in defense of the United States across much of its history (I would hardly like to think to what purpose the Navy might have used goats).  Mostly used as pack and harness animals, they were first pressed into service in with the birth of the American Military.  In fact, George Washington was the most prolific breeder of mules in the days of the revolution.

Mules, if you didn’t know, are a human developed, not naturally occurring species.  They are the hybrid product of crossing a male donkey (jack ass) and a female horse (mare).  Historical artifacts indicate that mules have been bred and used by man since ancient times.  They are mentioned in the records of the Egyptians (believed to be a more useful caravan animal than the camel), Greeks and Romans.  We have all heard the expression, “Stubborn as a mule!” which derives from the animal’s superior self-preservation instincts; somewhat ironic for an animal with no biological imperative (mules, as a rule, are born sterile).

The USMA selected the Army Mule as their mascot in 1899 in deference to its long history of service.  Of course, with the advent of mechanized vehicles in the twentieth century, the role of pack and draft animals has all but vanished.  Let’s face it; trucks are much more efficient at hauling supplies and ammo… as long as there is a road.  During the Cold War, all combat scenarios were developed around Europe and its modern transportation infrastructure.  You didn’t think the autobahn was built just for the pleasure of prosperous Germans burning up the pavement in their Porsches, did you?

As cool as they look, HumVees cannot traverse goat trails.  So, mules and horses were deployed as recently as the Afghan war.  Yet another ironic twist: Today, the responsibility for training man and beast for pack animal service is delegated to the United States Marine Corps. at their Mountain Warfare Training Center near Bridgeport, California.

“But what has this to do with the aforementioned news item, Dale?”  Well, per a report on FOX News, it seems that the Marine Corps. has once again turned to modern technology aimed at solving a traditional problem; how to transport needed war fighting materials in a primitive environment.  Thus was conceived the Legged Squad Support System (kinda sounds like a garter belt doesn’t it?) or “LS3”.  The vehicle (?) is designed to carry 400 (although in practice, loads are targeted at 250) pounds twenty miles without refueling.  It is essentially a robot mule.  A 2010 article announcing the development contract stipulated $32 million in costs and thirty months to build the prototype.

Now I don’t know what your idea of a bargain is, but consider this.  I checked a “Mules for Sale” website and found the asking price (not settled price) to be anywhere from $2,500 to $4,000 per critter.  Let’s see; at the high end, you could buy 8,000 mules for $32 million (which yields only a prototype; I could find no information on projected manufacturing and maintenance costs).  In my research, I found the U.S. Army’s recommendation for utilization of a live pack mule was 250 pounds and travel distance of twenty miles per day.  They involve no exotic materials, electronics or hydraulics… and they run on hay!

I have an idea.  Rather than reinventing the wheel (or hoof as it were), why don’t we just use mules for the job they were originally created to do?  I know the mule’s sire is supposed to be the jack ass in this story, but don’t you feel like maybe we taxpayers a getting the “hee-haw” on this one?    

Would you like to swing on a star,

Carry moonbeams home in a jar,

And be better off than you are?

Or would you rather be a mule?