Friday, July 1, 2016

The Sound of Freedom!

Being as it is, the weekend of Independence Day (This, by the way, is the proper name for the national holiday, not “The Fourth of July”. The holiday commemorates an event that occurred many, many years ago.  Can you tell me what the event was?  I will give you bonus points if you can tell me another reason why the moniker “July 4th” is not apropos.) I wanted to share some thoughts relevant to a sensory aspect, the sound of Independence: Swoosh!  So why is “Swoosh!” the sound of freedom?

Is it because of the Nike logo?  Nike gives us the freedom to run about, invigorating ourselves and living healthier lives.  No, that’s not it.  I can’t even wear Nike shoes… not big enough for my wide, wide feet.  Pay attention girls!  So I am effectively banned from the Nike Swoosh!  Doesn’t sound like freedom to me.



How about the sound of a jet liner?  That sounds like freedom: Swoosh!  The introduction of the jet engine into commercial passenger aircraft design is largely responsible for the democratization of air travel.  The more powerful jet engine resulted in a significant increase in aircraft size, allowing more seats to be added, changing the economics of airfare.  But as we have experienced, the airline industry has turned itself into too much of a good thing.  Now the planes are so packed with seats that you experience hardly any freedom at all.  And do you remember, “You may feel free to move around the cabin.”?  Now it’s “Stay in your seats and keep your seatbelts fastened.” No, jet engines are not the sound of freedom.

The real sound of freedom was first heard circa 1775.  Not in America (which at that time were more properly referred to as the “colonies”) but in the mother country, England.  It was the crucial advance in plumbing invented by Alexander Cummings now known as the “S-trap”.  That is the design of your flush toilet that prevents sewer gasses from escaping into your home by the seal created by trapping water.  And when you flush your commode, that seal is broken creating the now famous, Whoosh!

Okay, I know what you’re thinking, “Dale, this just sounds like another load of your usual crap!”  But I beg you; think what your life would be like in a world without Whoosh!  Imagine the smell emanating from the chamber pot stewing under your bed during those long, long winter nights.  Consider how much time would be wasted on trips to the outhouse every day.  And you know those holes fill up eventually requiring a new hole and moving the shed.  I believe if you give in a bit of serious thought you will agree: The flush toilet, with its ingenious “S-trap” is the greatest invention of all time.  And “Swoosh!” is truly the sound of freedom.